No, I will not be told to ‘lighten up’: some thoughts on rape culture

I recently saw this video on Facebook, and was shocked to see how positively people were responding to it. With over ten thousand likes, and comments declaring how ‘funny’ it was, and how they’ve had similar experiences. I cannot believe that something so explicitly evocative of rape is still acceptable to the wide majority of people in a wealthy, educated western society. This shows clearly just how prevalent rape culture is, despite the fact that many declare ‘it doesn’t even exist’.

I understand that this video is about joining two popular ideas, currently there are many videos and pictures on Facebook which discuss this concept of men being ‘too big’, and I understand that ‘Mr Bankshot’ has conflated this idea with the viral video Charlie bit my finger. However this video makes for a disturbing representation of what many clearly think sex is normally like. Healthy and consensual sex should NOT hurt. If you trytaharrush to push someone off you during sex they should NOT continue, and thrust faster into you. It is NOT funny to laugh at someone else’s pain, particularly when it relates to sex. Another part of the video that I found disturbing was the look of derision on the man’s face when she ‘shouts’ ouch. If someone exclaims that something hurts, be considerate, their pain should NOT be collateral damage which is to be disregarded for their partner’s pleasure. This video should not be relatable, and  it truly saddens me to see that it is.

Another disturbing aspect of the video is the sound bites taken from the Charlie bit my finger video, even with the context of the viral video, this is distressing. Child abuse is explicitly evoked here, and it worries me that those who have viewed this video find this easy to overlook.

Many people might respond to this post with a comment such as ‘lighten up’, or ‘it’s only a joke”. But I don’t want to live in a society where rape and child abuse is condoned and even laughed about. Rape is a very real fear for so many women globally, and to normalise it and joke about it in this way, to me is repulsive. I don’t laugh when I hear someone walking behind me in the dark at night time. I’m scared, my heart skips a beat and I double my walking pace until I know I’m somewhere safe. To make trivial jokes about such a serious subject is vile, or ignorant at the very, very least. This video may have not had intentions to offend or cause upset, but entertainers whether they be on TV or on social media sites have a duty to consider how their media will be received. Next time you see a video such as this ask yourself what the implications are and if it is really okay to condone and accept media such as this. What would your reaction be if this happened in real life to you, or your best friend, or a member of your family? Think twice before laughing about rape. Consider the real life implications.




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